Lessons Learned From Time Warping

You know the song is in your head

I’ll admit it….I remember when the Rocky Horror Picture Show first was released.  I was one of those oddballs that would get up and dance the Time Warp in the aisles along with all of my classmates.  While we won’t discuss why, frankly because I have no earthly idea, I will tell you that, yes, I have been pondering the lessons learned by Time Warping.  It’s a catchy little ditty that you should really YouTube, or simply click HERE.  While you listen to the song, or let it play in your head, consider the following:

1. Given the chance of not being embarrassed, people in a group will do pretty much anything.
2. Music is a wonderful mood changer.  Try it.  Listen to something like a Gregorian Chant and see if it doesn’t cause your eyes to want to slam shut.
3. Many of my friends used to do stupid things.  Yes, it was my friends!  I took no part or pleasure in the antics, except as an observer, or perhaps to use the experience for extortionary purposes should they ever run for public office.
4. People, and I say this while gazing into a mirror, without a sense of rhythm should refrain from dancing, running, walking, or any other effort of graceful movement.
5. As I have gotten older, doing the Time Warp has become a LOT more difficult.  One of these days, I’ll probably break something or suffer severe injury (to my pride as well as my person).
6. Some songs will stick in your memory forever.  Usually pushing out other important things……such as your name.
   
7. It IS possible to do the Time Warp in a car traveling along the highway at 80 miles an hour.  No, I haven’t tried that recently and NO the driver did not take part except to control the volume.
8. One should never Time Warp with a soda in one’s hand.  Especially when one’s girlfriend is in front you one in line.  Spilling icy soda down her back onto the cashmere sweater she “borrowed” from her sister will NOT, and I cannot emphasize this enough, WILL NOT, win any positive points with said girlfriend, her sister, or her parents (who have to listen to those two bicker about the sweater).
9. When doing the Time Warp, one can make new friends.  CAUTION: The Time Warp will not make you new friends if you are the only one doing it.
10. There are bits of me that keep right on Time Warping well after the music has ended.  Hence the decision for some dietary and exercise changes being implemented.

The Time Warp is quite simple to learn, I mean, the instructions are right there in the lyrics, and it is fun when done in the proper environment.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to slather myself with Capsasin and try not to look in the mirror whilst the music plays.

Besides….It’s Just A Jump To The Left!