If you’d like to see the entire spectrum of the gene pool…..might want to overdose on some Dramamine first, for that sea is stormy and full of tall toxic waves that do ripple about like pudding in a balloon. Yet if you are stalwart of heart and foolhardy of sanity, step forward and peruse the clientele at your local StuffMart. Here, you shall be bombarded with almost every critter that ever crawled out from under a toad’s turd to breathe air, all the way up to those who believe their conception was immaculate.
Be that as it may, you will be amazed and astounded (not to mention completely disgusted) by the wide variances of persons, and I do use that term in its broadest conceivable idealized meaning. Some will have multiple children, all of whom are shrieking as if they were at the fair livestock show (and they are the livestock) and you look at, what you presume are, the “parents” and say to yourself, “Self…….how much did they have to drink in order for this to happen?” Then shalt you continue with your shopping, expressing prayers of thanksgiving that one of the parents of this gaggle of flying fartmonkeys wasn’t you. It also causes you to wonder if Darwin was a certifiable lunatic, because if these represent the fittest of our species…….
We’ve seen those people before. The ones that make you wonder how on earth one could look in a mirror and decide that a camouflage cap that’s been under someone’s truck seat for 10 years, a mullet, and spandex saying to themselves, “It it good!” Then believe it is a visually pleasing look to be thrust upon a now nauseated public. And yet…there it is right before you, making your eyes wish they were feet so they could leave!
While tis very easy to poke fun at others, I would be remiss in my narrative if I did not also take a good look at my own slime encrusted gene pool. Okay, I looked and the crust is still in tact so moving on to something equally irrelevant and tedious (which usually means I was interrupted mid-thought and forgot where I was going with this).
Have you ever wondered why superheroes are always tall, good looking, and muscular? Not to mention they all have some pretty catchy theme music. Think about it, they wear spandex and look good in it. The guys are all chiseled and defined like granite with all the appropriate bulges that radiate vim, vigor, and vitality. And the girls are, well…….scantily clothed, and very pleasing to the eye, and I’ll stop there.
Let’s face it, would you rather be seen with this:
This is what I look like, by the way.
Or would you rather be seen with this:
Here’s my point I’m trying, apparently not very hard, to make: To someone, you are a hero! Whether they see you as that stunning, muscular, chiseled cliche or as a normal, not-so-muscular-or-chiseled normal person. What would you choose as YOUR theme music?
You may now return to your nap, work, worknap, activity, or zoneout.





