I live, currently, in the “deep South” of the United States, where mosquitoes are larger than most aircraft, and where the language can, at times, vaguely resemble something that might be English, but at least it’s not quite Cajun.
For example:
Corn which has been ground into sand-like consistency is referred to as meeyull. That is, until boiling water has been added along with a huge glop of butter, then the cohern meeyull instantly becomes greeyuts, which is a substitute in many homes for oatmeal.
At almost every meal, there are a few items which will accompany every entrée. One is a small glob of bread slathered with bud-dah. These are not called “rolls” at any time. These nuggets of dough are always called, in all their various forms, biskits. Most homes will offer some sort of meat grease which has been thickened with flour called grayveh. This concoction is ladled atop the entire contents of the plate.
Also accompanying every single mealtime in the true South will be the thick, sweet almost to the point of being chewy, heavily lemoned beverage called Ahsstee or the abbreviated form tee. If you are desirous of something Earl Grey or Darjeeling or Oolong, one must, in this venue, specify that you are requesting HOT tea. Brace yourself, because it will most likely arrive thick, sweet, and lemoned. Ahsstee has an alternate purpose as well. If one were to find themselves at a meal without sore-gum or mole-assis, one can merely heat up some ahsstee and pour it over their biskits or pankayks. Or in a pinch, one might also be able to pour it into their engine’s oil receptacle, since the fluidity and thickness are about the same.
True genteel Suhthun laydeez, when presented with overwhelming news or when they wish to have all attention on them, for whatever reason, will suddenly get a case of tha vaypahz. This is a light-headedness which supposedly leads to fainting, this, in turn, has resulted in an entire branch of furniture called the Fainting Couch. The remedy for tha vaypahz is to fan the victim, place a cool (not cold) damp cloth behind the neck (so the makeup is not disturbed), and set a glass of ahsstee on the table at hand (on a coaster so there won’t be a ring on the table).
Contrary to popular belief, people who live in the South are not ALL married to their cousin/sister/aunt/mother/half-sister/2nd cousin.
One term you will encounter whilst wandering about the South is yawl which is a tricky word, as it refers to the singular person whose family is no where within shotgun range, as well as, the singular person who happened to stroll over (and their absent family), as well as, a large group that has gathered. When you are referred to with this word, it is always best to look about to gather the context.
If you are new to the area, just passing through, or have been kidnapped and dropped off in the locale, you will undoubtedly be asked Yawl yaynt frum rownd cheer. This is not exactly a question, as it is more of a statement of observation. If this phrase is aimed at you, then prepare to be met with suspicious glances, ahsstee n biskits, and wary whisperings.
I’ve been in the South now for several years and am still undergoing the culture shock of having been born in California only to be transplanted in the Swamp Land of ticks, mosquitoes, and chiggers. Oh yes, chiggers are tiny bugs that burrow into your skin and make you itch terribly. They can only be cured, according to my Grandmother, with raw bacon or ham fat being applied directly to the affected area. Raw bacon or ham fat cures just about everything, depending on who you talk to (and how far past the treeline into the woods they reside).
This is not to say that ALL Southerners are leftovers from “Deliverance,” because there are many who are absolutely wonderful, friendly, surprisingly normal people. Some are even normaler than me. Go figure.
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